Appalling encounters with Christianity:
Over the past 21 years, I have lived with this idea: Christianity.Conformed to every thought, belief, practice and custom of this religion. Through stages of my growth, I have always learned to question things that I never understood. Deep within me, rationalism was the answer to those "koans"( Why are you asking me? GOOGLE IT!). I questioned christian god, whether Jesus was god himself, why it is difficult to experience a physical god and why is such a privilege recommended only for "the highly religious?", when religion and god are said to be for the"common man". Whats the difference between spirituality and religion? Why is the world running amok even when young are bred in sunday schools and the old attend church every sunday? Why is the society promoting an unethical competitive spirit? Where has all the compassion and respect for fellow humans gone? Why are people frustrated with their marriages, work life, people around them?
I stood alone facing all these questions, as I stood years ago with the simpler versions of the same.
My experiences with this religion have never been emboldening. Am I the only one being the outcast? Bible may be the oldest book written, but personally, why isn't it teaching me the newest thoughts that promote the validity of questions like "What the hell am I doing here"?
I am not an atheist. I do believe that there is a higher consciousness that exists above human realms of rationalism. My search is refined. My mind quests to know why religious practices of this religion doesn't touch upon our intellect? Why isn't Jesus's teachings not interpreted in a way that encourages us to look into ourselves for the solutions to our problems? He never said, I am god, depend on me. He said, there is a higher power out there, ask him, and you'l get. Believe, you'l achieve. Instead, we misinterpret it as, " Jesus is god, praise him, worship him, surrender yourself to him, don't question him, and he'l relieve you of your problems!". We teach dependance. And dependence is viral. Its genetic; It passes on. Until, we finally discern that our problems are not being solved by any religion. At this juncture, some give up, either conforming themselves to living a life that is pointless and valueless. Some move on to better thoughts. Some take to violence to assert wrong interpretation. Some become atheists. Some clueless and uncaring about spirituality at all dimensions.
To me, Buddhist outlook on life has always been meaningful. Their ways of mindful living, and meditative outlook on things, resounds, of being highly conducive to intellectual pursuits and "looking inside for understanding" practices. The focal point of Buddha's teaching: Life is a struggle and the solutions to all our problems are within each one of us,stop being dependant, control your mind, be minimalistic, etc are in direct contrast to civilized interpretations on Jesus's teachings ( NOTE: I still regard his teachings to be actually encompassing all these points, considering, historically, Jesus is thought of being a Buddhist himself, leading a monk life from age 12 to 30)
I am still searching. I have had the liberty to discuss these doubts of mine with a devout catholic: My dad. He promptly suggested these erratic questioning patterns to be derivatives of lack of proper catholic principles and teaching from my sunday school timeline. He also exacerbated with words, his displeasure at my attitude, which according to him is atheistic and warned me of possible harsh repercussions in terms of life experiences.
I will keep looking, because when my kids grow up to repeat the process, I'l have to answer them. I'l have to lead them. Not many will have the capability to search for the truth and persist till they find it. You don't need to be a monk or live out your life in the himalayas to do that. Observations arise from daily life. Its the interpretations that make all the difference.
Request: If you are reading this and like to share a point of view( contradictory or conforming), Please do so, because "liking" it on FB or "suggesting" it on google will help neither you, nor me...
Over the past 21 years, I have lived with this idea: Christianity.Conformed to every thought, belief, practice and custom of this religion. Through stages of my growth, I have always learned to question things that I never understood. Deep within me, rationalism was the answer to those "koans"( Why are you asking me? GOOGLE IT!). I questioned christian god, whether Jesus was god himself, why it is difficult to experience a physical god and why is such a privilege recommended only for "the highly religious?", when religion and god are said to be for the"common man". Whats the difference between spirituality and religion? Why is the world running amok even when young are bred in sunday schools and the old attend church every sunday? Why is the society promoting an unethical competitive spirit? Where has all the compassion and respect for fellow humans gone? Why are people frustrated with their marriages, work life, people around them?
I stood alone facing all these questions, as I stood years ago with the simpler versions of the same.
My experiences with this religion have never been emboldening. Am I the only one being the outcast? Bible may be the oldest book written, but personally, why isn't it teaching me the newest thoughts that promote the validity of questions like "What the hell am I doing here"?
I am not an atheist. I do believe that there is a higher consciousness that exists above human realms of rationalism. My search is refined. My mind quests to know why religious practices of this religion doesn't touch upon our intellect? Why isn't Jesus's teachings not interpreted in a way that encourages us to look into ourselves for the solutions to our problems? He never said, I am god, depend on me. He said, there is a higher power out there, ask him, and you'l get. Believe, you'l achieve. Instead, we misinterpret it as, " Jesus is god, praise him, worship him, surrender yourself to him, don't question him, and he'l relieve you of your problems!". We teach dependance. And dependence is viral. Its genetic; It passes on. Until, we finally discern that our problems are not being solved by any religion. At this juncture, some give up, either conforming themselves to living a life that is pointless and valueless. Some move on to better thoughts. Some take to violence to assert wrong interpretation. Some become atheists. Some clueless and uncaring about spirituality at all dimensions.
To me, Buddhist outlook on life has always been meaningful. Their ways of mindful living, and meditative outlook on things, resounds, of being highly conducive to intellectual pursuits and "looking inside for understanding" practices. The focal point of Buddha's teaching: Life is a struggle and the solutions to all our problems are within each one of us,stop being dependant, control your mind, be minimalistic, etc are in direct contrast to civilized interpretations on Jesus's teachings ( NOTE: I still regard his teachings to be actually encompassing all these points, considering, historically, Jesus is thought of being a Buddhist himself, leading a monk life from age 12 to 30)
I am still searching. I have had the liberty to discuss these doubts of mine with a devout catholic: My dad. He promptly suggested these erratic questioning patterns to be derivatives of lack of proper catholic principles and teaching from my sunday school timeline. He also exacerbated with words, his displeasure at my attitude, which according to him is atheistic and warned me of possible harsh repercussions in terms of life experiences.
I will keep looking, because when my kids grow up to repeat the process, I'l have to answer them. I'l have to lead them. Not many will have the capability to search for the truth and persist till they find it. You don't need to be a monk or live out your life in the himalayas to do that. Observations arise from daily life. Its the interpretations that make all the difference.
Request: If you are reading this and like to share a point of view( contradictory or conforming), Please do so, because "liking" it on FB or "suggesting" it on google will help neither you, nor me...
very nice yaar.... but according to me , the inner consciousness inside u is named as GOD. i dont believe tat ther is someone like Jesus,Allah or Shiva etc etc.... its just ur inner soul, tat is wat is supreme one. like- wen u do something wrong u wil pay for it some day! u can never say tat god has punished u o sumthin, its ur inner consciousness wich is responsible..... anyways i just told my opinion :)
ReplyDeleteYes, probably all my thoughts have lead to the same idea. "god is within us" as they say.
ReplyDeleteGod is the most basic element in everyone which keeps them moving.It is easy to believe in Him but if you trust in Him whole hearted-ly,then he wont disappoint you.
ReplyDeletehave an open mind toward ideas and have a sense of accepting ideas which full fills your logic , god is the ultimate truth and consist of everything we know or we don’t know and projects that magnificent divine glow to all the creations. So looking inside our self and looking outside are same, but have to clearly look for what we need, it should not be masked by any prejudice ,that’s it
ReplyDeleteDhanush, Thanks for the view. As I mentioned, I am not an athiest. So, this is not a question on : Is there god. Rather, its a question of why religions don't teach us to search for god within us through spiritual awakening?
ReplyDeleteNandhu, Thanks for the view. I agree spot on the idea you are getting at. Being open has been our culture ( and it has lead to a mixed set of religious outlook in our country!) for long. Unprejudiced outlook is the corner stone of the search!
ReplyDeleteAnd the way of worship which are transformed in to religions are developed by highly intelligent people who were able to understood the true meaning of god, and the temples, gods and the way of worship were set by them for those who were not able to understand the concept of god. It is hard for so many people to initially find that concept by looking in to their own self, so those great people showed some ways to achieve the stage, where they can identify how to achieve their ultimate aim, to know the ultimate truth. I am not saying all of them are perfect, because as ages passed there were many additions and alterations done by so many people for their convenience , but still they are good for an initial understanding, that teachings and beliefs will be like a gee lamp which will help you see your correct path and refresh you by its fragrant .
ReplyDeleteand sangeeth all religions teach to look inside of our self , i will tell you and example from bhagvath geetha, after the geethopadesham krishna didnt ask arjuna to do as he said, he asked him to think deep about the ideas that he said and ask your own consciences to come to a conclusion. but today very few follow the orginal teachings that the great saints (i prefer to call them as scientist ) left for as.
ReplyDeleteNandhu.. perfect. I liked the way you explained : Religious customs as the elementary step towards the higher power. Makes absolute sense. Also your anecdote from mahabharatha. The underlying problems is that people don't physcologically graduate from that state. They resist growth and change of their understandings. ( In a subtler way, our lifestyles have left us no time to pay attention to these basic questions!)
ReplyDelete